Stimulus

I opened my mailbox today to find a check from the United States Treasury in the staggering sum of $11.72. On first thought, I assumed it was my own personal piece of the $800 billion bailout package. Closer inspection revealed the true source.

In 2001 I purchased a Mac on eBay for $2,300 from a woman named Teresa Smith. The same computer from Apple and other Apple dealers was retailing for around $3,000. I should have been more skeptical, but she had positive feedback from other eBayers who had purchased similar items at similar prices, and who had received their merchandise.

Mine never came, and the same story repeated itself over 300 times, allowing Ms. Smith to scam around $800,000 by the time she was arrested. There was a lawsuit, a trial, a prison sentence and a promise of restitution.

I guess my restitution begun today, with the delivery of .005% of my original loss. One hundred and ninety five checks from now and my recovery will be complete. I’m assuming Teresa is out of prison, and is having her wages garnished. If every defendant is receiving checks of $11.72, there will be over 68,000 disbursements before all debt is repaid. That’s a big checkbook.

I am not expecting my other 195 checks anytime soon.